How to Manage Stress and Anxiety in Everyday Life

Many people experience stress and anxiety in everyday life. This can be situational and specific, such as the stress one feels when there are layoffs in the company, anxiety about health, public speaking, etc.

At other times, stress and anxiety can be more general or chronic. For example, individuals may experience generalized anxiety due to sensory processing sensitivity (SES), which means that they are biologically-wired to processes sensory stimuli more strongly and deeply, and can get overwhelmed more frequently than do others.

Stress can also become chronic when life itself teaches you that you ought to sleep with an eye open. This can be the result of unfortunate life experiences, including abandonment, betrayal, and unjust treatment, among other experiences, that leave one's nervous system hyper-aroused and hyper-vigilant, and make stress and anxiety into a default way of being.

What are some common signs of stress and anxiety?

Feeling stress and anxiety is often associated with spinning thoughts, tightness or tension in the body, difficulty concentrating, and difficulty falling asleep. It can cause fatigue, irritability or anger, muscle pain, and a host of medical problems including digestive troubles and more.

Techniques to manage stress and anxiety

There are several evidence-based strategies that can make stress and anxiety more manageable:

1. Deep breathing: When we feel stressed, the muscles that help us breathe often tighten. We might notice ourselves taking quick and shallow breathes, or holding our breath altogether. Instead, taking a longer exhale can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which can increase relaxation and calmness in the body. Try to breathe in for four, hold it for four, and then breathe out for six. Repeat 10 times.
   

2. Protecting your sleep: Creating good habits can greatly improve sleep quality. Think about what could help you wind down before lights out, and try to incorporate it into your lifestyle. It may be a hot bath, relaxing music, meditation, or some form of relaxation. You may want to consider when and how much caffeine and alcohol you consume, and try to avoid high-intensity exercise before bedtime. Finally, keep in mind that screen time in the evening can disrupt the melatonin surge needed for falling asleep.
   

3. Relaxing the muscles: Stress often causes muscles to tense, which can lead to tension headaches, backaches, and general fatigue. Incorporating stretches, massage, and warm baths into your daily routine can help reduce these effects. You may also try progressive muscle relaxation: Practice tensing each muscle group in your body, one by one, for 10 seconds and then release. Notice how it feels to let your muscles relax and have the tension leave your body.
   

4. Staying active: Moving the body can help reduce stress and anxiety through releasing endorphins, the brain's feel-good neurotransmitters. In addition, exercise often creates a sense of calm by helping us take our minds off of our day-to-day worries, and increase the sense of focus and clarity. Virtually any activity can act as a stress-reliever. The most important thing is to find something that may be enjoyable and add it to the calendar.
   

5. Practicing mindfulness: Stress and anxiety regularly bring our attention to the past and to the future, and by doing so, they keep us focused on problems. In contrast, mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement. You can choose almost anything as the object of your mindfulness practice. For example: Focus on the sensation of air coming in and out of your body; or on the taste, smell, and texture of your morning snack. When you practice directing your awareness, over and over again, away from a problem and back to the here-and-now, you teach your brain how to spend less time in rumination, and may even discover some simple joys in life.
   

6. Connecting with others: Research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that strong social bonds can dramatically reduce stress-related physical and mental illnesses including heart disease and depression. Make time for friends and family. Different relationships can be supportive in different ways, from providing a healthy amount of distraction, lending an ear or sympathizing, and alleviating stress through tangible help.
   

7. Journaling: Keeping a diary of your feelings and things that trigger stress can help you identify specific patterns in your emotional experience. Ongoing reflection can help you make better choices for yourself. You may evaluate whether you can change a situation that is causing you stress, perhaps by dropping some responsibility, relaxing your standards, or asking for help. If stress is triggered in specific relationships, you may consider ways to adjust those relationships or, if needed, end them.

Anxiety can be your guide

Before we commit ourselves to eliminating anxiety from our lives, it is worth noting that anxiety, essentially, is the body's alarm system that gets activated when our nervous system identifies a threat. When anxiety is showing up, it may be trying to ask: Are you safe? Is there balance in your life? Does a relationship or another aspect of your life need to be adjusted? Learning to listen to your stress and anxiety can help you make better choices in your life.

Final note: When anxiety is about an internal experience

Some very reflective clients tell me that their worst fears have to do with experiencing certain feelings. For example, someone who had a severe episode of depression can become very anxious when they observe changes in their mood, and may try to control it. Others, who have mental illness run in their family, can become terrified about developing symptoms, and might be disturbed when noticing uncomfortable feelings or thinking patterns in themselves. Clients who experienced physical and emotional abuse growing up can be terrified of their own anger, and can be haunted by fears that they somehow resemble their perpetrator. Finally, clients who never felt truly loved and accepted oftentimes feel extremely anxious when someone else is seeking their closeness; they never know whether they can trust it.

Journaling is often the first step that helps clients notice these patterns of anxiety, and it can provide a huge relief when they are able to trace their anxiety to an earlier experience that would help them make sense of it.

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